I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
