Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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