now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
