Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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