and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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