some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
