Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
