Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize