I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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