Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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