My first STD was from a foam party
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
