Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I got inside last night via doggy door
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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