his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
