This is not my ceiling
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he thought i was a dude.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
