Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need to calm my uterus...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
