she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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