Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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