She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
