worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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