I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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