I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
