My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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