I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
