If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
