first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
