oh god the rape fog is back!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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