Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
