I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
