How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm really busy with my period
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