M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
