i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
