I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i now understand why vodka
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
