i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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