im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
