people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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