Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
