Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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