Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
