he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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