I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
