Can i not drive my cunt home
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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