So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
