but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Girls should come with a carfax report
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
