i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
