And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
ttyl tear gas
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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