i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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