Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
