I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
