He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
