Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
